I may only have 50 autumns left to enjoy

While on a hike around Mill Valley with my friend Taylor this past weekend, she told me something that put my lifetime into perspective. Somewhere in her circle of information—be it a book, podcast, video, or friend—she had internalized and shared the following: “We really only have 70 summers to enjoy in our life.”

When she said this to me, all I could do at that moment was repeat the statement in absolute awe. Seventy summers. That’s all I might get. For what it’s worth, the average lifespan of a woman in the US is about 79 years old so I may end up getting more than seventy summers, but that’s beside the point.

Look at this incredible foliage! I do wish we had changing leaves out here in California, but I can’t complain too much.

I have always understood our time on Earth is limited, but realizing how small seventy feels in the grand scheme of everything made me aware of how short life actually is for whatever reason. If you think about it, for the first eighteen years or so of your life, you aren’t given much of a choice on how to spend each of the seasons. Here in the US, we start the school year in autumn and end it in the spring; winters meant procrastinating on extra homework in preference for the holidays, and summers were either spent at home or, if our families had the luxury of affording it, on a vacation. Given all this, someone may only have about fifty times to really enjoy a season how they choose.

If you’ve known me for a while, you may know how existential I was in the past. Countdowns, numbers, metrics, and status ruled my world. I felt like I needed to make every day count towards something meaningful as I aspired for the “next thing.” Controlling what I did every day meant that I could control my results. Needless to say, that mindset was not sustainable and it cost me years of therapy.

Knowing all this, the old Marj would have definitely spiraled if I heard that I only had a limited amount of summers, autumns, springs, and winters left to enjoy in my lifetime. I would have made a plan to “make the next summer count” and would have written down an ultimate seasonal bucket list full of activities I wanted to complete the following year.

But, as I processed all this information and understanding who I was then versus who I am now, I couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of appreciation for the rhythms of life and nature. Yes, I may only have 70 summers to enjoy in my lifetime but I also have 70 autumns, 70 springs, and 70 winters. Each season does not need to be jam-packed with activities nor do they all need to be extraordinary. Instead, I can take each season for face value.

It’s exciting to see the first spring leaves blossom after a frigid winter; it’s equally as exciting to transition out of breezy spring skies (and the pollen that it blows in the air) into sun-filled beach days. In the same way, it’s exciting to start a new chapter in my life where I get to explore my dreams; it’s equally exciting to eventually move on to bigger and better things. At the end of the day, it is important to recognize what season of life we’re in as it is important to live through the synchronicity of nature. By linking our consciousness to the cycles of seasons, we give ourselves the opportunity to better understand our own patterns and cycles. It’s a beautiful thing to know I can experience each shift of the seasons right when I need them.

I say all this knowing we have arrived at the end of summer and can now welcome autumn with open arms. While I have enjoyed my time sipping on iced tea and taking naps under the sun, I admit that the excessive sunshine has begun to exhaust me. Let’s not forget that autumn is about is traditionally a time for harvest and gratitude. We are all in a new cycle of growth and invite you to consider where you are currently either physically, mentally, emotionally, or all of the above. How do your feelings influence your experience of the seasons?

I myself am ready to read some classics like Rory Gilmore, find balance in a slower lifestyle, and eat loads of Fuyu persimmons. I don’t care to “end the year strong.” Instead, I want time to rest, reflect, and revel in all I have accomplished and all that I can achieve in the coming months. I may only have 50 more autumns left to enjoy in my lifetime, but I sure as hell will enjoy every single day of each one of them.

Happy autumn equinox! 🍁 And happy Libra season!

Until next time,
Marj ✨